Josh and I stayed up late. Too late. We could not get up in the morning. But guess who was awake?  You guessed it! The kids were up bright and early. Josh and I stayed in bed. BIG. MISTAKE. After I finally decided to wake up at about 8 o' clock, I went downstairs to make breakfast for the kids. It's Sunday, and we are going to church.  I notice immediately that there are no toys on the toy shelf. "Rafael, where did you put all the toys?" I then turn towards the bathroom. The door is closed. Where are the kids? I open the door.......... ALL THE TOYS ARE IN THE BATHROOM. Dumped out. The kids are sitting on top of them, inside inflatable pool floating rings. I kid you not; the toys were up to my waist, covering the toilet. Obviously, we have way too many toys.  I screamed. "OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!" Josh runs downstairs, thinking something happened. Which, something definitely did. He's in awe. I was making incomprehensible sounds. Stuttering. I was pacing back an...

This has been a season of much suffering. I sometimes wonder how much I can handle. I cry out to the Lord for guidance and help. Many times I feel like I can't hear Him; He's just silent. That makes me feel like I am not cared for.  I sit in my self-pity, wondering why I am here in this place in my life. Is this where I am supposed to be? If it is, why am I questioning everything? It would be one thing if I was the only one affected, but I feel like this affects my whole family. I have been asking the Lord for guidance, yet continue to hear nothing.  I have been having some severe anxiety attacks lately, which is abnormal for me. I've been having them close together, randomly, and then again when I am stressed from certain situations that arise. Being involved in ministry is already a hard job.  The other day Rafi had a bad dream. So bad that he came into my room crying inconsolably. I asked him what happened in his dream and he said he couldn't remember. Usually when h...